The day I found out about you I felt queasy in my stomach. There were so many questions and no answers. Others had been through this before, and I expected them to know how I felt. They didn't. No one could know how I felt about you.
My head was still spinning the first time we went to the doctor. How was I going to do this? I didn't know if I was ready. Yet, I had made the choice. There was no turning back now.
A salt and pepper image and the thump of your heart. I thought you where beautiful, even then. I didn't feel worthy to have you in my life, and now I could see that you where a living, breathing, thing -- something I helped create.
The more time that passed the more I wanted you with me, not just inside me. I wanted to hold you and smell you and feel your little fingers curl around mine. I wanted to know what you sounded like, even if all you did was cry. I wanted you to know how much I loved you.
The moment you where born you took my breath away. I still remember the first time I held you to my chest. You felt so small and fragile I was afraid, but I knew I was going to do the best I could.
I made a promise to you then, a promise that I would always love you. I want you to know that, becasue it hasn't changed. Not even when you make me so mad I want to curse. I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world.
After all, that's the meaning of motherhood.