Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Not Everything Goes According to Plan

It's been too many months since I've posted anything for the Insecure Writer's support group. It's not that I haven't been insecure (trust me, I've had plenty of ups and downs) it's just been about timing and blogging schedule.

Blogging has been hard with this pregnancy and now writing is going to have to take a back seat as well. I was really hoping to pound out my newest novel (see this post) but then on Thursday night I went into pre-term labor. Ugh.

I'm only 29 weeks so it was quite alarming to suddenly have contractions three-minutes apart. I've never had a single problem with my other two pregnancies. They both came at full term with out any complications.

This pregnancy I have anemia, a chance of diabetes (I have to take a second glucose test to know for sure), and the baby has one kidney that doesn't work and will never work. (The baby will be just fine because you only need one kidney to live, but there's still a chance he'll need it removed at birth).

Anyway, the doctors got the contractions to stop and I'm on bed rest. I want to write, but I don't want to stress myself out too much and start labor again.

I have a really hard time letting go of my goals and this case is no different. Hard as it is, I have to think about this baby first and put writing on the back-burner. It really stinks because I've been wanting to write this book since May, and even though I might get some writing done, chances are I won't finish before the baby comes like I had hoped.

Which brings on a whole new wave of the feelings that I'm not good enough and I will never get where I want in the writing world. The sensible part of my brain knows that's rubbish and that this writing gig takes time. But still, it's hard when you really want something and it feels like you are blocked at every turn.

Wow, I really hate to be a downer. I know everything is going to work out with both writing and the baby it's just going to take some courage on my part to be patient.

In the comments, tell me something good happening in your life. There's nothing that will pick a girl up like knowing my friends are succeeding (and the good doesn't have to be writing related). Ready? go!
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