Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Not Everything Goes According to Plan

It's been too many months since I've posted anything for the Insecure Writer's support group. It's not that I haven't been insecure (trust me, I've had plenty of ups and downs) it's just been about timing and blogging schedule.



Blogging has been hard with this pregnancy and now writing is going to have to take a back seat as well. I was really hoping to pound out my newest novel (see this post) but then on Thursday night I went into pre-term labor. Ugh.

I'm only 29 weeks so it was quite alarming to suddenly have contractions three-minutes apart. I've never had a single problem with my other two pregnancies. They both came at full term with out any complications.

This pregnancy I have anemia, a chance of diabetes (I have to take a second glucose test to know for sure), and the baby has one kidney that doesn't work and will never work. (The baby will be just fine because you only need one kidney to live, but there's still a chance he'll need it removed at birth).

Anyway, the doctors got the contractions to stop and I'm on bed rest. I want to write, but I don't want to stress myself out too much and start labor again.



I have a really hard time letting go of my goals and this case is no different. Hard as it is, I have to think about this baby first and put writing on the back-burner. It really stinks because I've been wanting to write this book since May, and even though I might get some writing done, chances are I won't finish before the baby comes like I had hoped.

Which brings on a whole new wave of the feelings that I'm not good enough and I will never get where I want in the writing world. The sensible part of my brain knows that's rubbish and that this writing gig takes time. But still, it's hard when you really want something and it feels like you are blocked at every turn.

Wow, I really hate to be a downer. I know everything is going to work out with both writing and the baby it's just going to take some courage on my part to be patient.

In the comments, tell me something good happening in your life. There's nothing that will pick a girl up like knowing my friends are succeeding (and the good doesn't have to be writing related). Ready? go!

22 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Your child comes first! Besides, it's not a race. You don't have to finish right now just to prove you're good enough.
And since you asked, after many months of not writing anything, I'm over halfway through the first draft of my third book and really enjoying it. Wasn't sure I had it in me to write another one.

Ava Jae said...

Oh wow. Well I definitely agree with Alex--your health and your unborn baby's health comes first. Don't worry about not being able to write--just stay healthy and as stress-free as possible! :)

David P. King said...

I've been struggling with similar feelings for the last month. Even wrote a post about it last Friday. Check it out when you have a moment. Maybe it will help.

Take care of that little one. :)

Anonymous said...

I always had a hard time writing when pregnant. Too much of my energy and brain power was going to the baby to have anything left over for creativity - which is the way it should be for those nine months, really (though it was hard to accept at the time). The writing will still be there when you are ready for it, and all this will only go toward making you an even stronger writer at the end of it all!

As for something good in my life? I just blogged about my older daughter learning to read. Proudest mom moment of my life yet.

Angela V. Cook said...

Sorry to hear about the pregnancy problems :o( Don't worry about writing your book, the ideas will still be there when you're ready and able to tackle it. For now, just rest and take care of yourself!

L.G.Smith said...

First, congratulations! I didn't know about the pregnancy. Second, you're going through a major life moment. I wouldn't worry about the writing goal in the short term. You have to plan for the long game. This is probably a great time for your stories to marinate, as I know you'll be thinking about them even if you can't get them written down right away because of the baby.

I just took a sort of long break to dive deep into my novel, and it paid off. I came away with a great character who gave the novel the energy it needed to see me to the end. I'm jazzed. :)

Annalisa Crawford said...

Take care, and rest well!

Hmm, good news...? I bought a new top and some nail polish today. That's all I can think of!

Having pretty coloured toes always cheers me up - get someone to paint yours!

Cassie Mae said...

I know you don't want to hear it (because I know I wouldn't, lol) but it doesn't last forever. Pretty soon you'll have wittle baby there with ya and no sleep or energy, but at least you can walk around. Or waddle, depending on stitches and stuff ;)

Something good... hmm... I made it a whole day without puking up one of the meals I ate! (Oh boy, that sounds like I've got an eating disorder! Lol.)

Kim said...

Oh, what a stressful time in your life. And yes, there are times when writing definitely has to take a back seat. Good luck to you and baby, and like Cassie said, it will be over soon...
Good news? My kids just came down with hand-foot-mouth disease. Does that count?
Didn't think so... :)

Kimberly Gabriel said...

Ah J.A.! I'm 34 wks pregnant. I totally feel like I'm on a time crunch knowing my world is going to get rocked here soon (in a wonderful way I know).

This is my second pregnancy. My first son came at 32 wks - he had a rough birth and a rough start to life. I'm THRILLED for you that they stopped your labor. Let that little one "cook" a bit more. ;)

In the mean time, pick up a few books maybe? Consider it "research" - digging into your genre. More reading = better writing, right? Ooh - and I like the idea of getting your toes painted - that was a good suggestion.

I'm also anemic and high risk for a million different things...I don't even care anymore! The good in my life right now? I'm 34 wks and feel blessed to have made it this far. I hope to hear the same for you! Keep me posted!!

Suzanne Furness said...

You need to take care of the little one but also you too. Rest while you can, maybe do some extra reading. Writing can wait a while. Take care.

Lisa Shambrook said...

I agree with Kimberly...use your new found time to read! I usually feel guilty when I sit back and read, as there is so much more to do, but little baby and resting will give you that freedom!

Krista McLaughlin said...

The little guy definitely comes first. I'm glad that he's doing okay. My sister was born with a bad kidney infection that she got from my mom, but she was okay. I also know a little boy, born at 23 1/2 weeks that is almost 3 years old. He's a fighter, your little one. :)

It's okay to take a break from writing if you need it. Just relax and keep growing that baby. :)

sarahflight said...

You relax and make sure that you look after not only that little babies health but yours too!

I am a firm believer that just because life doesn't always take you down the path you at first wanted or expected, doesn't mean it's the wrong one or you're failing. Life is about taking things as they come and you are doing just that. Success has no timescale - it happens when it happens. So don't you think that you've failed just because things aren't going "to plan" - I am learning that things very rarely go "to plan" !

Hmmm something good to cheer you up? I let my cat out for the first time since moving to our new place and I was terrified that he wouldn't be able to find his way home - he came back on his own the same day I let him out :))

Morgan said...

I was NEVER able to write while pregnant! I think it was a chemical thing or something. :P I read A LOT though, and counted that as research ;)

Life is GOOD on my end. Lots of productive writing and a new pretty blog! :D

Jenny Morris said...

You will have to take the time to relax and enjoy life as much as you can. Read a lot and take care of your sweet baby.

I'm about to go on vacation to Disneyland. That's the good going on in my life. ;0)

Tara Tyler said...

i predict you will have a beautiful, peaceful baby that will let you write & inspire your stories!

i'm happy i got some cp bites today! yeah!

Stephanie said...

I agree with Tara. Your baby will inspire you. Get some rest, relax and it will all come together when it's meant to.

Hope Roberson said...

Baby will come and bring you so much joy and happiness you'll be more energized to write again when you need a breather :) I'm one who wants things to go according to plan too, so I imagine this is a challenge. But this new plan will be a lot of fun :) Good luck and happy 4th!

Jessie Humphries said...

That's some crazy prego news! Sorry girl. I'm sorry I don't have any awesome news to share. I am waiting on my manuscript that is out with some agents right now too. But today I ran a 5k in Huntington Beach! :) That was fun!

T. Z. Wallace said...

The parallels between birthing a baby and birthing a book are amazing. So, while you let your little one stew a bit longer, maybe you could let some of your goals gestate a bit longer too. Here is to a healthy baby and mama and some peace and relaxation! In the meantime, maybe you can finally read all those things you never got around to before.

Lexa Cain said...

Don't worry, the writing will still be there when you are ready to come back to it. It isn't going anywhere. :-)
I'm wishing you health and an easy delivery.