You know when two people are just meant for each other from the moment they meet? My friends KJ & Macie where just like that. So it was no surprise when they got married. They had a beautiful little girl, and it was a storybook family.
Of course they had more love to give. When Macie found out she was expecting again everyone was so overjoyed. They are such good parents, I thought, I am so happy for them. Better news yet, it was a boy. Only the ultrasound didn't leave them with just that happy thought. The baby was small, really small.
They proceeded with caution and did everything they could. The baby stopped growing. They tested to see if the child was down syndrome or if he had other diseases. Nothing was conclusive.
When Macie went into labor three weeks before her due date they where anxious. It wasn't terribly early, but they knew the baby could have serious problems.
His birth weight was just two pounds, but his parents didn't care. He seemed to be healthy otherwise. Of course they would have to keep him in the NICU until his weight went up, but the outlook was hopeful.
They named him Kevin Jonathan after his father and called him little Johnny. After just a few weeks, it was clear the outlook wasn't as hopeful as first predicted. He would need Cataract surgery on both his eyes and when he got a little bigger he would need several operations on his heart.
They fought and struggled for seven months, he went through surgery after surgery. He wore glasses. He had constant infections. He never knew a life without a tube attached to him.
Finally, the day came. The breakthrough they had been waiting for. They where allowed to bring him home. I don't know everything that happened in that time, and now I wish I had been there for them. But at least they had him at home with them, if only for a little while.
This morning I found out Johnny died. My heart sank straight to my toes. After all this family had been through. After how hard they fought, to have it come to that -- there are no words.
I suddenly felt completely selfish. Just moments before I had gotten mad at my son becasue he wouldn't go to bed. How trivial! How base was that unpretentious thought? I felt, I feel, lower than scum.
It was moment where I wondered how anyone else was going through their everyday mundane lives. A child just died! Shouldn't the world stop for that? I wish I had all the answers. I wish I had the perfect thing to say to this family, but I don't. Today, I am out of answers.
Rest in peace, little Johnny.
31 comments:
So sad, and so unfair.
It's always a tragedy when a child dies, and you're right... The world should stop, if even for just a moment. I'm crying for the family and hoping for happier times to come for them. You can't think yourself a terrible friend or person for getting mad at your son refusing to go to bed when theirs just passed on. You couldn't have known.
Life is no guarantee. Sadly, this is true even for the young. If you believe in God, have faith in his plans. If you don't, you can still have faith in the future, that life will get better if people stick together in love.
@Amanda - sometimes I question why good families aren't blessed with all the children they want, but I don't have the answer to that either.
@Kathleen - they seem to have a very positive outlook despite everything,andfor that I'm glad. Their little boy suffered so much and they seemed relieved that he was finally out of pain. They still have one beautiful child and I know their little boy is waiting for them in heaven :)
I wish I was good with real words for real times but I'm not so I'll just say that I am so so sorry for your friends loss. No parent should ever have to go through this.
My love to you, too x
I'm so sorry. What a sad thing to happen.
I hope his parents, his family, and all those who love him find comfort at this time of grief.
How sad for that family. And yes, it does put things into perspective. Well said.
Deepest condolences to you and your loved ones.
I know just what you mean. It feels like the world should just hold up! I'd been redecorating my home the day before I lost somebody very dear to me. I sat in my refinished room thinking of how unimportant it all suddenly was. I remember feeling shallow and empty. Still, as difficult as it is, life does go on. My thoughts and prayers will be with them.
I'm so sorry for their loss. They have a little angel looking down on them now, from a place free of pain. Blessings to them and you.
Sometimes the world is hard and unfair, and to those who deserve it least. Such a sad story.
There are just no words that serve when something like that happens. Very sad.
That is so unimaginable. A similiar thing happened to friends of ours. They new from the time of their 18 week ultrasound that something wasn't right. They didn't expect the child to live long after birth, but he ended up living 2 years.
I Hope your friends are eventually able to find some peace...
@Sarah - I agree, my heart is just broken.
@Emily - Life is so worth treasuring!
@Mark - Thank you!
@Kim - There I was thinking about my little bumps in the road when this just hit me like a ton of bricks. Suddenly the vain is no longer what matters to us.
@Stephanie - Thank you! And thanks for stopping by my blog, means a lot.
@Christine - if only I had a magic wand to make it all right again.
@L.G. - It's so true, I feel like there's so much to say, yet nothing at all. no words can make up for that kind of grief.
@Angela - Their doing really well, because a lot of people love them and are helping them through this difficult time. I really admire their strength!
life sometimes does not make sense...as soon as i read the title and saw the picture...i was praying it wasn't about a child dying! my prayers are with him and the family!
That picture is actually of my son at three-weeks-old. It's a reminder to me of how lucky I am.
This breaks my heart. I don't even know what to say. I am amazed at the strength that some people have and I hope they are okay. They must be an amazing couple to be blessed with such a wonderful little boy who wouldn't be able to stay with them long. It certainly puts things into perspective.
omg! That's terribly sad. I don't know what else to say. It's just sad. :(
Fellow campaigner here, stopping through for the first time.
What a great, great reminder of what's REALLY important in this life. I look forward to getting to know you better and will pray for your friends. That is (in my life anyway) the worst case scenario. I feel for them so much and will hug my son longer and harder today for that reminder.
Thank you!
This sounds really similar to my sister-in-law's story. It's so sad! The world should totally stop for a while. At least for long enough for everyone to realize what they have and what's really important. We can all use that reminder. Thanks for giving me that reminder!
Things like this make me want to cry. I have a little boy of my own.
That is so sad. They are in my prayers.
@Abby - yes it does, hold your kids tight today!
@V - seriously, crying just about covers it.
@Amiee - Me too! I could not handle it. I am really amazed at their strength!
@Peggy - that was the idea of this post for everyone to remember those little things don't matter.
@Mel - I have two children so I started bawling when I heard the news. Writing about it was the only way to cope. Thanks for stopping by!
@Krista - Thank you! They really need them right now.
It is sad when a child dies ... it's sad when anyone we love dies ...
I'm a new follower and a fellow campaigner.
Oh, how my heart breaks for them. Even as a stranger, I wish there were anything I could do to ease their heartache.
I was just sitting here about to get mad at my son for not going to bed, just like you. Now I will enjoy just one more moment. Thoughts of strength for you and your friends.
Everyone has their own set of problems that take a toll and you can't compare them. It is horrible to lose a child after that sort of struggle. I'm sure acknowledging their grief and offering to help anyway you can (drive them to the store for some company or making a dinner one night for them) could be some ways to help reach out in their time of loss.
You can't feel guilty though at dealing with your own frustrations. If you constantly compare to other people, you'd never leave the bed from the amount of depression that self denial it can do.
This is heartbreaking. Prayers for the whole family. And yes, hug your kids tightly. The small blessings in life make the hard times a bit easier.
@Margo - hello & welcome!
@Deb - I know what you mean, I wish I had endless resources to help them in whatever way I could!
@Jenny - I know, it suddenly isn't as important as it once was.
@steph - I don't feel guilty, I just realized that I could be better :)
@Christa - it's true, I love that positive attitude!
Yes, I actually do think the world should stop for that. But alas, the world's far from fair or perfect. I am so sorry about what's happened to Johnny. I wish people would appreciate life more, you know? Instead of only doing that when tragedy has struck. But anyway, I think we can't just live a grandiose life all the time. The trivial things are a good thing when you compare them to heartbreak, right? Otherwise, life sucks. But I suppose it sucks for a reason. *hugs*
i'm very sorry for your loss. there are things that just don't make sense, things we just have to move on from. thanks for sharing this. johnny's story is a part of this world.
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