Monday, October 17, 2011

Samurai's and Hot dogs

It's time for another Campaign Challenge! And I'm really excited for this one because I'm channeling the Characters from my current WIP Existence (This scene does not happen in the book, but I may find a way to worm it in.) Hope you like it!

The rules:

Write a blog post in 300 words or less, excluding the title. The post can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should show:
  • that it’s morning,
  • that a man or a woman (or both) is at the beach
  • that the MC (main character) is bored
  • that something stinks behind where he/she is sitting
  • that something surprising happens.
Just for fun, see if you can involve all five senses AND include these random words: "synbatec," "wastopaneer," and "tacise." (NB. these words are completely made up and are not intended to have any meaning other than the one you give them).

***

Chrissie Fox fell face first into the sand and swallowed half the beach in the process. She let go of Ashton's hand and rolled to her back spitting the grit out of her mouth.

"Did we make it out of Japan?" Ashton said, panting.

Chrissie sat up and squinted in the distance, the sun was just beginning to rise. "Palm trees, so that's a yes."She collapsed back to the ground.

"What's that smell?" Ashton asked, "It smells good."

Chrissie took a deep whiff. She wasn't sure what it was, but she knew it was food -- the onion scent was a dead giveaway.

Ashton sniffed a few more times. "Hot dogs!"

"Um… Ashton, if you haven’t noticed, you're still wearing a kimono. You might look a little suspicious ordering a hotdog."

"We're somewhere tropical, people wear kimonos in places like this all the time!"

"Yeah, but they don't have authentic samurai swords strapped to their backs, do they?"

Ashton must not have been listening because he was scrambling his way towards the smell. Chrissie stood up and dusted herself off and ran after Ashton, trying to remove her white makeup as she went.

"… and mustard." Ashton was saying when she finally caught up to him.

The guy behind the stand raised an eyebrow at them, but didn't say anything.

"We're lost actors." Chrissie said, a bored expression on her face . He just shook his head and squirted condiments on the dog.

Aston grabbed it and took a big bite "wastopanee synbatec tacise"

Chrissie rolled her eyes, "could you please swallow before you speak?"

Aston gulped, "I said, what's that smell, dead octopus?"

Octopus? Chrissie looked over Ashton's shoulder and saw two time fliers pop out of nowhere. They had tracked them all the way back from 1630's Japan.


***

I'm #14 if you want to vote for me!

47 comments:

Jess said...

Ooh I love it!! Great job!! I could really picture everything going on!

(I'm entry #5)

Sonia Lal said...

I love it! Good job.

Katie Dodge said...

Nice job! I loved it! Now I want to read your WIP.:)

ali cross said...

Ha! I did NOT expect the sci fi twist there at the end! Great job J! AND you won a signed copy of SUPERNATURALLY! Shoot me an email with your address! ali at alicross dot com.

Carrie Butler said...

Aww, man. I want a hot dog now! *grins* Great work!

Shannon Lawrence said...

Clever way to use the words! Great entry; fast paced. I haven't done my entry yet. Probably Thursday.

Sarah Pearson said...

I enjoyed this, and another one here who thinks the use of words was pretty ingenious :-)

Jen said...

What a fun story! I loved the imagery too - swallowing half the beach. Great job.
Mine is #25.

L.A Speedwing said...

Nice one! Except Am i missing one of the points: Is your MC not supposed to be bored as well? ( I know it is a tough one to include everything but I was just wondering...)

Tara Tyler said...

great job! i love time travel!

J. A. Bennett said...

@L.A Speedwing How did I miss that? Thank you! I tweaked it ;)

Ava Jae said...

Nice entry! You did a nice job including the words and the whole time-travel thing is pretty intriguing...

Abby Fowers said...

Great job Jennie! You got my vote!

i'm erin. said...

I love this! Ha, I just read another one of these on another blog. And it was so different. But I loved yours.

K.T. Hanna said...

Great unexpected twist at the end there. You had me starting to get hungry in the middle... but the end cured that lol.

Great work

Jenny S. Morris said...

That was relly awesome. I am so excited about this WIP! Off to vote. Oh, and Samuria swords-SO COOL. Great use of the words, too.

Alynza Smith said...

Really great job!

kmckendry said...

I love the thought of two samurais ordering hot dogs on the beach! Great entry.

David P. King said...

Ninjas! Yes! Loved the time travel angle you spun on this one. Great characterization as always! And now I'm hungry. :)

Sangu Mandanna said...

Great job - love how you incorporated all the elements here!

AveryMarsh said...

Oh, wow. That was great. Samurai and octopi and time travel! More please!

Sheri L. Swift said...

Wow, what an intriguing story, def makes me want to read more! ; )

Gail Shepherd said...

This is totally hilarious; I love it. You ought to use this as the opening of a novel.

Gail Shepherd said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Melanie Fowler said...

This is seriously good J.A. Bennett. It caught me off gaurd at the end and I liked it. Great job!

Steph Schmidt said...

Chrissie's line about authentic swords had me grinning, the lost actors line sent laughing out loud. I hope you work this scene into your WIP or at least have more like it!

Isabelle Thornton said...

Really cool! Good job!
Have a super week! Thanks for saying hi!
Xo

Kim said...

Fabulous - and I have to say I LOVED the way you incorporated those made up words into the story...

MISH said...

Great scene! And you incorporated the 3 nonsense words so smoothly!
(I'm no.#47)

Patricia T. said...

Love time travel. Great showing and tension. Wasn't sure where the story was going, so the ending caught me off guard. Nice job!

bridgetstraub.com said...

Nice twist at the end and I like the way you jumbled the nonsense words together. Mine is #56

Angela Cothran said...

I loved this :) I especially loved the use of the nonsense words! Time traveling samurais eating hot dogs--now that is creative!

yikici said...

Very visual and the voices are entertaining. :)

Maeve Frazier said...

Love time travel. Great visual. Excellent entry.

Alyssa said...

Great entry!! :D I'm #69

JesiMarie said...

I am very curious to know more about these characters and why they're being chased around! Good story :D

I'm number 87

Medeia Sharif said...

I imagine the wip is just as awesome. You have my vote.

Brinda said...

I LOVED this one. I am going to vote!

Chantele Sedgwick said...

Great job!! Loved this. I want to read your WIP! :D

Lady Gwen said...

I love time traveling and I soooooo wanted that hot dog! Nice entry. I'm #65:)

Joanna said...

Cool time travel and somehow I love the juxtaposition of Samurei and hot dogs. very funny!

mooderino said...

Liked the time travel angle, nicely done.

mood (now following)
Moody Writing
@mooderino

Michelle Merrill said...

Awesome! I like the sound of your current WIP. Intriguing character's and an interesting twist :)

Isis Rushdan said...

I could visualize everything. Fun story!

Kurt Hartwig said...

great voice and atmosphere. fun trying to imagine what was happening before that made a hot dog at sunrise so important to them!

Jes said...

Yeah, that samuri sword might make them stick out a bit, lol. Fun story!

Claire Hennessy said...

Yeah - time travel. Love it.